Movie Quotes Redux: THE ANSWERS!

Well, either these quotes are way too hard, or my taste in movies is too abstract (or both...).

In any case, here are the answers I'm sure you've just been waiting to see... (OK, maybe not... but, here they are anyway).

1. "Six years ago, I looked at a picture... I felt like a kid in front of a candy store. Well, tonight, six years later, I got my candy -- all of it."

Answer: CITIZEN KANE (1941). It's a cliché for film lovers like me to absolutely adore Citizen Kane -- it's been consistently ranked the #1 American-made film of all time for decades -- but it really is one of my favorite films. In fact, for my birthday last year, Emily bought me a framed Citizen Kane poster that now hangs in our bonus room. This quote comes from one of my favorite scenes, when Charles Kane (Orson Welles) is looking at a photo of a rival newspaper's staff while commenting on their greatness.



2. "He's sex obsessed! The older generation's leading our nation in a state of galloping ruin!"

Answer: A HARD DAY'S NIGHT (1964)

As an absolutely maniacal fan of The Beatles, I had to include a quote from the Fab Four's first film. Throughout the movie, Paul's grandfather is the subject of constant ridicule for his randy behavior and unusual demands. Still, they all agree that he's "very clean," and though John, in this quote, torments him, it's all out of love. You're not really a fan of The Beatles if you haven't seen this a few times.



3. [Character 1]: "Am I hallucinating here? Just what in the hell do you think you're doing?"

[Character 2]: "Learning about Cuba, and having some food."

Answer: FAST TIMES AT RIDGEMONT HIGH (1982)

Jeff Spicoli's (Sean Penn) response to Mr. Hand's (Ray Walston) exasperated inquiry is one of my favorite responses when people ask me questions to incredibly obvious questions (i.e. when someone asks, "What are you doing?" when it's completely apparent that you are watching TV, reading the newspaper, playing video games, etc.). "Fast Times" is a movie that never, ever gets old.




4. "It's safer to teach you English!"

Answer: THE GODFATHER (1972)

This quotes comes from the scene where Michael is trying to teach his wife, Apollonia, to drive a car. Unfortunately, she's terrible at it... but that doesn't stop her from trying...





5. "But I'm in a mist! Everythings burned! Oh, I've got a funny feeling in my toe! "

Answer: WATERSHIP DOWN (1978)

One of my favorite childhood films, "Watership Down" is the animated adaptation of Richard Adams' classic tale of a group of rabbits forced to leave their warren. This quote is from Bigwig, the burly ex-officer rabbit, who mocks the prophetic warnings of Fiver, a small rabbit who foresees death and destruction. If you haven't seen this gorgeous film, seek it out!! (Be forewarned, that, although I started watching this around the age of 5, it'll will probably frighten very young children.)



6. "Sorry, I didn't mean to step on your, uh, whatever that is."

Answer: THE LAST STARFIGHTER (1984)

This quote comes just after Alex steps on an alien's tail-like appendage. I loved this movie as a kid (I think it has something to do with being from a small town and wondering if I'd ever leave...), even though it always freaked me out when Centauri (Robert Preston) removed his face while taken Alex into space!! Freaky!



7. [Character 1]: "We've wounded this mountain. It's our duty to close her wounds. It's the least we can do to show our gratitude for all the wealth she's given us. If you guys don't want to help me, I'll do it alone."

[Character 2]: "You talk about that mountain like it was a real woman."

[Character 1]: "She's been a lot better to me than any woman I ever knew."

Answer: TREASURE OF THE SIERRA MADRE (1948)

Along with "The Maltese Falcon" (aka the first film Emily and I ever saw together...), this is my favorite Humphrey Bogart film. It's a great story, features the outstanding direction of John Huston (who also directed "The Maltese Falcon") and is the source of the oft-repeated phrase, "Badges? We don't need no stinkin' badges!" (although, the word "badges" is often substituted with... anything). Em says she's not much of a Bogie fan... but that doesn't stop her from telling me not to "Bogart" certain things (the comforter, her water, the TV remote, etc.). I think she just doesn't like his slight lisp or the fact that he seems to be really filthy in 2/3 of his films. Still, he was a pretty cool cat in my book, and this movie is one of his and Hollywood's finest.




8. "Buck up - never say die. We'll get along."

Answer: MODERN TIMES (1936)

This one is tricky because it comes from a (technically) silent film. But, the scene is so iconic that all Chaplin-philes know it well. This was Chaplin's final silent film, and, like most of his films, he served as director/producer/writer/star... and composer. His original song, "Smile," is an enduring classic that absolutely makes this scene... one of the most perfect endings in cinematic history.



9. "Pain can be controlled - you just disconnect it."

Answer: THE TERMINATOR (1984)

Man, oh man. I love the Terminator films. This quote is from the first film, as Kyle Reese tells Sarah Connor that pretty much anything can be overcome. I can't wait for the new McG'd film, "Terminator: Salvation," starring Christian Bale as John Connor.

Christian Bale = Awesome.




10. "I have to write all these books, whatever they are. Hopefully fiction." (1979)

Answer: TIME AFTER TIME (1979)

Aside from being helmed by the same director as the hands-down epic "Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan," "Time After Time" is probably the coolest romantic dramedy involving time travel (sorry, "Somewhere in Time"). This quote is from famed scientist and science-fiction writer H.G. Wells (Malcolm McDowell) who, looking at a 1970s museum exhibit of his accomplishments, realizes that he must return to 1893 and start creating his sizable legacy. I absolutely love this film... there's just nothing else like it.



11. "Bird. Raven. Nevermore."

Answer: SHORT CIRCUIT (1986)

If you haven't seen "Short Circuit," then you are either under the age of 20... or spent the late '80s living in a cave. This quote, once put into context, becomes fairly obvious. As Johnny 5's knowledge of human culture growths, he begins putting things together very quickly. After all, he is alive. :)



12. "He touched my breast!"

Answer: THE WIZARD (1989). Correctly identified by Maret.

For kids like me who were between the age of 7-15 in 1989, this film was the culmination of our greatest dreams: An film completely about the love of video games (specifically, Nintendo). The fact that it starred one of the TV's then-most famous child stars, Fred Savage, was icing on the cake. But, there's only one reason why this film has endured for two decades: It was, of course the film that introduced the world to Super Mario Bros. 3, which quickly became one of the biggest selling video games of all time. Everybody who owned a NES had to have it (I still have my copy... in fact, I think I actually ended up with two or three... hmm...).

This quote comes from the leading lady of the film, Jenny Lewis (who is, awesomely, now the lead singer of one of my favorite bands, Rilo Kiley). Though not the most-quoted line from the film (that honor belongs to THIS gem, still uttered by video game geeks today), it's still one of the most memorable moments of this, admittedly, campy film. But, I love it so much that I even purchased a bootleg copy -- which I still have -- from a woman in Norway years before the film was released on DVD here in the states. So worth it.



13. [Character 1]: "I understand you're a neurosurgeon."

[Character 2]: "No, I'm a barber, but a lot of people make that mistake."

Answer: RUSHMORE (1998). Correctly identified by Jennie.

I love Wes Anderson's films (and yes, that includes The Aquatic Life with Steve Zissou... down to the haters!). Rushmore represents the first time that I ever sought out to watch a film by myself. This became something of a hobby in college, as most of my friends simply did not share my love and passion for cinema. Emily watches most movies with me now, but sometimes, my tastes are even a bit too broad (or ridiculous) for her, so I still watch quite a few films by myself (though, rarely at the theater, unless it's something like "Rambo").

This quote is from Max Fischer's father. Throughout the entire film, Max lies to people about his dad's profession, even though he is, by far, Max's biggest supporter. Lesson learned? Never be ashamed of those whose seemingly simple lives nonetheless inspire you to do great things.



14. "Don't you know eating that stuff can give you very large breasts? Oh no... I'm too late!"

Answer: REAL GENIUS (1986)

This is one of those films that, if you've seen it, you might not remember much about it, save the ending, wherein Val Kilmer and Co. blow up a house with popcorn to the tune of "Everybody Wants to Rule the World" by Tears For Fears. Awesome!



15. [Character 1]: "What was it we had for dinner tonight?"

[Character 2]: "Well, we had a choice of steak or fish."

[Character 1]: "Yes, yes, I remember... I had lasagna."

Answer: AIRPLANE! (1980)

My parents probably shouldn't have let me watch this film until I was older, but I'm sure the more mature bits went over my head as it was. Still, this was one of my favorites growing up, and as far as I'm concerned, Leslie Neilesen is a master at deadpan comedy.



16. "They are treading water in a sea of retarded sexuality and bad poetry."

Answer: THIS IS SPINAL TAP (1984)

This quote is from an album review that director Marty DiBergi (Rob Reiner) reads to Nigel Tufnel (Christopher Guest) in this mockumentary classic. Nigel's response? "That's just nitpicking, isn't it?" Hiliarious.



17. "Well hello Mister Fancypants. Well, I've got news for you pal, you ain't leadin' but two things, right now: Jack and sh**... and Jack left town."

Answer: ARMY OF DARKNESS (1993). Correctly identified by Jeremy.

I'm a bit obsessed with the work of Bruce Campbell, the greatest B-movie of all time. "Army of Darkness" might be his most famous work, save the USA Network series, "Burn Notice." I'm quite partial to his days in the short-lived sci-fi Western series, "The Adventures of Brisco County, Jr.," but I'll take Bruce Campbell any way I can. Hail to the King, baby... Hail to the King.



18. "So, you want to play Boggle or Super Mario Bros.?"

Answer: GHOSTBUSTERS II (1989)

This is somewhat of a throwaway line, but whenever I think of "Ghostbusters II," I always think about it. This is from Louis Tully (Rick Moranis) as he tries to fend off Janine Melnitz' (Annie Potts) sexual advances. It's the perfect line for breaking the ice of an uncomfortable moment.



19. "These floors are dirty as hell, and I'm not gonna take it any more."

Answer: UHF (1989). Correctly identified by Jeremy..

Long before Michael Richards was goofing it up as Cosmo Kramer in "Seinfeld", or making racist remarks in night clubs, he was Stanley Spadowski in Weird Al Yankovic's cult classic, "UHF." Borrowing a line from the film "Network," he calls viewers to action against the effects of dirt and grime. This isn't as obvious a quote as the "Spatula City" commercial, but I thought that'd be too easy.



20. "The attempt on [his] life left me shaken and disturbed, and all the questions kept coming up over and over again, like bubbles in a case of club soda. Who was this character in the hospital? And why was he trying to kill [him]? And for whom? Did he lie to me? I didn't have any proof, but somehow, I didn't entirely trust him either. Why was the 'I Luv You' not listed in his records? And if it was, did he know about it? And if he didn't, who did?

And... where the hell was I?"

Answer: THE NAKED GUN: FROM THE FILES OF POLICE SQUAD! (1988)

This quote comes from Lt. Frank Drebin's (Leslie Nielsen) rambling monologue as he tries to figure out the details of a crime. The last part... "And where the hell was I?" is the perfect thing to say when you get lost... anywhere.


Skip to 4:42 on this video to see the scene.