30 Books Before I'm 30

I have thought for a long time about what momentous thing I wanted to do before I turn the big "three oh," and I figured that I would end my third decade the way I started it, which is reading. While putting together our new bookshelves, I realized that I own a lot of books I have intended to read but have always put off. And then there are all those books that I avoided reading because I was never motivated to do so. 


Without further ado, here are the 30 books I plan to read before I'm 30 (in a year and a day):

Classics (things I should have read, but haven't):

1. Les Miserables (it helps that this is a book club book--two birds, etc.)

2.  Wuthering Heights (I'm a little squeamish about characters named "Heathcliff"-- unless they are tabby cats)

3. Great Expectations (I'm kind of anti-Dickens ever since... well... I'm not sure why. I probably had a good reason when I formed my opinion as an English undergrad).

4. A Tale of Two Cities (As long as I'm making a list of books I wouldn't otherwise read, I figured there's a place for two Dickens novels).

5. Moby Dick (I hate, hate, HATE Herman Melville, and I generally pretend to have read this just to avoid people asking me why I haven't-- I mean, I know how it ends and all-- but I figured that now is the time to do finally buck up and read the effing thing).

6. Sense and Sensibility (I've seen the movie and didn't like it, so I never read the book. I've always felt guilty about not reading it).

7. The Importance of Being Earnest (just never have read it. Don't know why).

8. War and Peace (It's my dad's favorite book. I hate Russian authors, so I've avoided this one).

9. Jane Eyre (no reason, just haven't read it).

Books I've Always Wanted to Read But For Which I Have Never Found Time

10. Anne of Green Gables (I've seen the movie a million times, have a neverending crush on Gilbert, but have still never read the book).

11. The Blind Assassin (I love Margaret Atwood's short stories, but have always found her novels a little difficult to get into. But this one sounds good, so I'm giving Atwood another chance).

12. The Fountainhead (I've read Atlas Shrugged, but never got around to this one).

13. Return of the Native (I love Thomas Hardy. I have read everything else except this one).

Books Other People Have Recommended

14. The Poisonwood Bible (I tried to read it once, but only got about five pages in).

15. The Unbearable Lightness of Being (My sister Tasha's favorite book. She let me borrow it once, but I never opened it).

16. The House of the Spirits (my brother was incensed when I told him I've never read anything by Allende).

Books I Own But Have Never Read

17. The Dante Club (I have tried reading this book about half a dozen times and always get distracted. So now I'm finally going to finish it!)

18. Suite Francaise (Josh finally bought this book for me after it had been on my Wishlist for a few years, and then I never read it).

19. The Lost Language of Symbolism (about symbolism in the scriptures).

20. If Only I Had Known... Avoiding Common Mistakes in Couples Therapy (you know, for the learning of something).

21. Psychotherapy with "Impossible" Cases (also for the learning).

22. Women of Covenant: The Story of Relief Society (about the women in the early years of the church).

23. The Devil in the White City (I've heard from a million people that this is good, and I bought it way before anyone else I have ever known read it).

24. Balancing Act: The Authorized Biography of Angela Lansbury (Josh bought it for me for Christmas after I begged for it, but then I never read it).

25. The Madness of Mary Lincoln (I made Josh buy this for me after we went to DC and I saw it in the Ford's Theater gift shop. Mary Lincoln was crazy? Awesome!)

26. My Life in France (for various reasons I have put this off, even though I really want to read it).
27. Blonde (I bought this book more than 5 years ago when I went through a Joyce Carol Oats phase but then never opened it).
28. Sometimes a Great Notion (the other Ken Kesey novel)
29. Sophie's World (this book was required in my high school program, but somehow I got out of reading it. I'm not sure how. So I guess I'll read it now!)
Books I've Never Thought of Reading But Made an Effort to Include on This List
30. Their Eyes Were Watching God (I realized that my book list was a bit White).

I don't know yet what order in which I'll read these. I suppose it will depend on my mood. Because of my newly acquired Kindle, I can get some of these books for free from Amazon (Best. Present. Ever!) I'll keep everyone updated, because of course I'm reading these so you don't have to.

Trek in the Park (epic fail)

As a low-cost (free) birthday present for Josh, I promised him that we could go to "Trek in the Park" at Woodlawn Park on Saturday. I'm not a huge fan of Star Trek, but Josh has been a huge fan since childhood, and I know I need to be more open to new experiences. The only problem is, I had NO idea how popular this event is (though I should have realized that if I have heard of it, then most of the rest of the Portland metropolitan area has also heard of it), and we only arrived 20 minutes early, so this was our view:

There was a concrete walkway a few feet in front of us, and as people arrived even later than we had, they just stood along the walkway right in front of all the people sitting down! It was super obnoxious, though a guy who is much more brazen than I am asked them to move (I was so thankful!), but then even more people came late and stood in the way.

A guy who worked security had the job to clear the walkway so that the actors could make their exits unimpeded. But then HE stood RIGHT IN THE WAY! At that point, I checked out of the show. The episode they were performing was "Space Seed," which Josh tried to watch before we went (but fell asleep, though by his estimation, he's probably seen the episode 30-40 times throughout his life) and recommended I watch (but I was doing something else). 

If you look closely, you can see me in the background, annoyed, and the guy in the red shirt standing right in my way

I started feeling really sick about halfway through, so I made Josh leave early. He was able to stand closer to watch, but I didn't want to stand for the whole time crammed next to other (smelly) people. Plus, I was comfortable on my little camp chair in the shade (until I felt like my guts were being ripped out of my body).

I think Josh had a good time, though.

At least, he looks happy

We'll try again next year, come earlier, plan for a bigger crowd, not throw up on people (not that I did that, though I may have been concerned it would happen), but this time it was kind of a bust. Josh is already excited because our good friend from our Eugene Institute days, Wyatt Spear, who met us at the park and stayed the entire time, told us that at the end of the performance they announced next year's selection will be the classic second-season episode (and of Josh's all-time favorite TOS installments!), "Mirror , Mirror." I have a feeling Josh is already planning to grow a goatee in honor of the alternate-universe Spock.

BTW: Josh waited until we were walking to the park to tell me that there has been gang-related shootings in the same park to which we were heading. He assured me that we (probably) wouldn't get shot. And he was right (this time).

My Bestie is Having a Baby!

I had the pleasure of attending a Blessingway yesterday for my best friend Amanda. A Blessingway is originally a  Navajo traditional ceremony to celebrate a woman as she transitions to the role of Mother. I was a little skeptical about this (but as the daughter of former commune-living hippies, I really shouldn't have been), but I had a great time. Rather than have a party for a baby whom none of us have met yet, the focus is on the mother-to-be, and giving her our well-wishes and blessings before the birth. It was so nice to have a forum to celebrate Amanda, who is such a beautiful pregnant lady!

This is us:

I have known Amanda since Kindergarten, have been friends with her since 3rd grade, and have been BEST friends with her since freshman year of high school. She has been with me during some of the best moments in life, and some of the worst, and I can't wait to meet her baby girl Eibhlin (pronounced "Ave-uh-lynn"-- it's Irish) in a month or so.

Some of the activities of the Blessingway included:

Smudging

Lighting a candle

(we all got tea lights to light when Amanda goes into labor)

A relaxing foot massage by Amanda's older sister

(her younger sister is in the background)

A presentation of beads/charms so that when she's in the delivery room she can look at them and think of the love we're giving to her, and (hopefully) that will give her strength for the labor

Holding a naked baby
(Amanda's sister has already potty trained her 5 mo daughter[!] who hung out naked most of the time)

Belly casting

And opening presents!

We also brought and read poems that made us think of Amanda or childbirth. My poem was this one by Marianne Moore:

I May, I Might, I Must

If you will tell me why the fen

appears impassable, I then

will tell you why I think that I

can get across it if I try.

I picked it because it succinctly sums up my views on life and my idea of what childbirth/parenting must be like. Plus it's short and easy to remember. :)

I'm not going to lie, I cried a lot. I went on forever about all these memories I have of her, and the more I shared, the more I remembered more things to share. I may have been slightly obnoxious since no one else knew what we were talking about, but it was a lot of fun to reminisce and to hear other people's stories about her too.

Here are a couple anecdotes:

* When we were in the 4th grade, we were on the same softball team. One time, during practice when Amanda was playing first base and I was batting, I got out at first. Amanda either laughed at me or I thought she was making fun of me, or whatever. So I threw my helmet at her. Our coach made us run to the edge of the field and back. Together. It was awkward.

* Junior year of high school, we had a series of classes together. We sat in the back of the classrooms and pretty much just talked nonstop. Our teachers must have hated us, but didn't split us up or anything. We had maybe a ten minute break between classes, and we would often go to Dairy Mart during the break and get these huge sodas that we would drink during our second class. Whenever I drink those huge fountain drinks (which isn't a lot, thankfully), I think of her.

* Senior year (I think), we went to some play at the performance theater in Eugene (the Hult Center), and because we didn't arrive super early, we had to park on the top of the parking structure. As you can imagine, after the show everyone tried to leave the parking garage, so there was a huge backup of cars and we were at the end. So we spent the waiting time sitting in my car singing songs from Alanis Morisette's "Jagged Little Pill" at the TOP of our lungs. 

I cannot express how much I love Amanda and how excited I am for her to have her first baby. Hooray! 

(it will also give me an excuse to knit some baby leg warmers)

Things I Think About at 5:14am

I think my biggest fear is that I will go to shut the blinds (if it's getting dark) or open them (if it's getting light) and there will be someone standing there looking in at me. I freak myself out with this thought all the time, and I was just sitting here wondering where that fear originated.

I have my psychopharmacology final today. I'm studying right now. I haven't decided yet whether I should take a quick pre-class nap or just continue to sit here and go over my notes for the millionth time. Wish me luck!

P.S.
I have been taking Vitamin D now for a few weeks. On the bottle it says it "promotes healthy bones and immune system," but I have basically been nothing but sick since I started taking them! Is it possible to be allergic to Vitamin D?

Finals are coming...

... but I'm not studying because I am too delighted by this blog, though it was weird envisioning this person as a Mature, Woman-About-Town (and actress on Broadway!), only to find out she is merely two months older than I am. I have forgotten that I'm slowly edging out of my 20s.

Though, in reality, I have always been a firm believer that I am much better with age. At this rate, by 80 I'll be perfect (I'm not sure whether that's slow or fast, but it gives me time for improvement).

In Other News:
I discovered a spider dangling from my sweatshirt after I took the recycling out (the Mountain of Packing Materials is receding). I brushed it off of me, then tried to squish it with a book. Squishing spiders on carpet is practically impossible, so instead I coaxed it into the book, then swiftly closed it! The next person who borrows The Girl Who Played With Fire from me is going to be surprised with the content on page 357.

Self-Esteem, William James Style

I was doing a bit of homework tonight, and I read something in a chapter about self-esteem that really resonated with me, so I thought I would share it.

As a bit of background, William James was a pioneering psychologist who happened to write a book that I know well, as it was used as a textbook in my Psychology of Religion class in undergrad (The Varieties of Religious Experience) and was venerated by my professor.

"William James, for example, noted that people can stake their self-worth on strikingly distinct qualities, with the result that anyone can achieve high self-esteem as long as they emphasize their strengths and devalue their weaknesses." 
(from Bosson, J.K. & Swann, W.B. [2009] Self-esteem. In M. R. Leary & R. H. Hoyle [Eds.] Handbook of individual differences in social behavior).

I like the idea that anyone can achieve high self-esteem. (That is certainly in practice daily at the ShepAlder household!) It makes me feel hopeful and optimistic for people, my clients, etc. 

The ShepAlder House (Now With More Delightful Shelving!)

Remember when we got our awesome bookshelves that were supposed to be a Christmas present but ended up being a Christmas/birthday hybrid present because I was too lazy to measure our hallway? Well, we (finally) put them together today!

In all fairness, we assembled them into their little box forms as soon as we got them, but then they just hung out in the hallway for two weeks looking like this:

We recycled most of that stuff, by the way, because Josh is awesome (and because I whined), though it didn't all fit in our recycling bin, so some of it is still living on our kitchen floor (in case anyone needs some Styrofoam). 

I have been wanting to get this task done, but we kept putting it off. Finally, today I said it had to be done. It wasn't easy. There may have been some swearing involved (on my part) and some crying (also me), but now it looks like this:

They apparently only give you one shelf per unit, so it looks a little strange right now. We're getting additional shelves in the future. But we finally have something to go in that awkward space in our hallway! Also, we finally have a place for the books that have been gathering around our house in piles! And for the DVDs we're (I'm) too lazy to sort! 

This is what it looks like from the other end:

We're missing a corner piece, which we didn't realize until we had taken everything out of the boxes. They literally shipped this to us on a pallet, wrapped in cellophane, which is now sitting in our garage (in case anyone needs a huge, wooden pallet that FedEx refused to take with them). My mom said that the people at Levenger were really nice to her when she called them about it, so that was positive. 

In reward for helping me today, I'm letting Josh display his Mr. Potato Heads on the top. I think that makes me a pretty good wife.