A few days ago, Emily
posted pictures of us in Biblical garb whilst on a trip to the coast. However, she gave no reason for these pics, indicating that they were not our Halloween costumes and that details would be forthcoming in the next few days.
To quote from
my favorite Dr. Seuss book, "The time has come... the time is now!"
Here's the story, morning glory:
For several years, I have been a passionately devoted reader of a film site known as
Aint It Cool News. But, I'll get to that in a minute.
First, some history about me! Friends of mine will attest that my love of film borders on outright obsession: I don't just watch movies... I absolutely digest them. The same is true for most of pop culture (i.e. television, music, comics, books, etc.), and over the years, I've become known for my extreme geekiness in internally archiving loads of trivia facts, biographical information, weird anecdotes, etc., into this grey matter within my sizable cranium.
For years, I wondered if any of this "useless knowledge" (a term I loathe) would ever garner me any more than the possibilty of lifeline calls from friends trying to figure what film won Best Picture in 1978 (it was "
The Deer Hunter"), or where Paul McCartney's "
Michelle" fits in The Beatles' discography (Album: "
Rubber Soul" (1965), track 7).
One day in 2006, it finally did. I'd known Emily Shepard for a while, though we'd never been close friends. That all changed during a late-night game of "
Trivial Pursuit: Pop Culture Edition" with friends. My team ended up winning the match, but when a particular question momentarily stumped me, I was shocked (read: intrigued) when Emily confidently gave the correct answer.
The question: "This actress left behind her former, scandalous acting career when she was cast in John Water's 1990 film
'Cry Baby.'"
The answer: "
Traci Lords."
Again... I should have known that instantly, and as the words left Emily's lips, I was simultaneously annoyed and attracted by this girl I hardly knew. Right then and there, I knew, that I just had to have some more Emily Shepard in my life. We had so much in common, it was almost ridiculous (
NOTE: "Actually, it's completely ridiculous." --
Emily)
The rest of the story will one day be told to the ShepAlder posterity as if it were legend: Emily and I dated, fell in love and knew that life without one another would be a tragedy (and not an interesting one, like "
Hamlet" or "
The Awakening.").
Now, back to my point (Emily says I include way too much exposition in my blog posts, but I remind her that I didn't go to journalism school to impress girls... writing has just always been my thing.).
Emily and I both love our pop culture... and we both especially love film.
Last year, Emily's sister moved to Austin, Texas, with her husband and three (now four) kids. One day, I casually remarked, "That's awesome. We should try to get into BUTT-NUMB-A-THON and then we'd have a great excuse to visit them too!"
If you've made it this far, you're probably asking yourself, "What on earth is 'BUTT-NUMB-A-THON'?"
BUTT-NUMB-A-THON -- or BNAT (pronounced "Bee-NAT") as those in the know call it -- is a 24-hour film festival held in Austin each year in December. It is a birthday celebration of one Harry Knowles, founder of Ain't It Cool News and one of the renowned film geeks on the Interwebs.
However, unlike most film festivals, you can't just buy tickets to BNAT; you have to apply. With only a few hundred seats in the theater, it's quite the feat. We were ecstatic to get in last year, and we cherished the experience. Twenty-four consecutive hours of movies -- a mix of soon-to-be released features (last year, we saw "
Charlie Wilson's War," "
Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street," "
Mongol," and "
Trick 'r Treat," all prior to their theatrical releases), vintage films ("
Lonely are the Brave," "
Pickup on South Street," "
The Great McGinty," "
The Abominable Dr. Phibes.") and trailers, plus several oddities (i.e. UCLA Medical School footage of an in-progress urethroplasty accompanied by
Chuck Mangione's "Feels So Good," played just before breakfast...) -- would be enough to make most people shudder; for Emily and I, it was paradise.
And, for the past 10 months, our only desire was to somehow get back (cue Emily saying -- in her best Jack from "LOST" voice -- "
We have to go back!!").
A few weeks ago, Harry posted the application for this year's BNAT. Being that it is the tenth year of the event (and in remembrance of Charlton Heston's passing in March), he dubbed it "The Ten Commandments of Butt-Numb-A-Thon." As part of the application, we were instructed to include individual photos with us dressed as extras or major characters from Cecil B. DeMille's epic 1956 film, "
The Ten Commandments."
Minutes after reading these requirements, Emily and I concocted a plan to dress as Moses and Rameses II, respectively. All we needed was a background to help us recreate the mood. Without hesitation, we decided that the sandy dunes and crashing waves of the Oregon Coast near Sand Lake were perfect.
The rest of the application consisted of various questions, including our favorite Charlton Heston films:
- "
Soylent Green" for me and "
The Greatest Show on Earth" for Em;
Charlton Heston quotes:
- Josh: "
Every man has a final weapon: his own life. If he's afraid to lose it, he throws the weapon away," "
Khartoum" (1966).
- Emily: "
One more word of your sauce, and I'll have your liver for breakfast," "
Treasure Island" (1990)
... and much, much more.
We've been waiting anxiously all week to see if we made this years' cut... and just less than an hour from this blog posting, we found out that we've been invited once again!
I cannot express just how excited we are! This is, hands down, the most exciting thing to happen this year -- save buying our first home! -- and Dec. 13-14 can't come soon enough!!
Here are the cropped, individual photos we sent in with our BNAT applications:

"These commandments are made of people...
they're people!!!"

"
You're nothing but a bastard...
a bastard in a basket!"