Powar and Greede

This was the third time this week that Josh and I donned costumes, but this time it was for a fun night of dinner and murder at Heather and Mark Noakes' house (for those of you not in the know, they are in our ward and Mark is in the same year in my PsyD program). Neither Josh nor I were the culprits, but we enjoyed some great food and fun conversation with a few other couples in the ward. It was a fun end to a packed week, though next week will probably be more hectic as I finally start my practicum and continue working on my thesis. Unfortunately, I'm really starting to feel the stress.

Me as "Ivonde B. Alohne," the beautiful and engaging film actress

Josh as "Hackford (Hack) Ryder," screenwright and not-so-secret alcoholic

I was trying to look simultaneously thin and suspicious, but achieved neither

Halloween with the ShepAlders

This is the first year that Josh and I have had an actual house to decorate in an actual neighborhood where people trick or treat, and it's been great! Halloween has been traditionally the only holiday for which I have ever decorated (ever since 2002 when my mom sent a package of blinking eyes and window clings to me), so Josh and I go a little nuts (we may have put up our pumpkin lights on October 1st). It seemed like every time I got home, Josh had bought more window clings (all cat-related).

This Halloween was cool because we were able to have the Arthertons come over, who are Josh's aunt, uncle, and cousins, and we all went trick or treating around the neighborhood while Josh's oldest cousin stayed and manned the door for us (and played Rock Band).

Falkor helped us carve the pumpkin

But Josh ended up doing all of the hard work

That pumpkin is one Cool Cat!

Josh claims that it was my idea to be Mary Poppins, but since it's been 20 years since I've even seen Mary Poppins I find it very unlikely. Both of our costumes were probably the lowest maintenance that we've ever done. I just borrowed a blouse from my mom, knit a red and pink striped scarf, and bought a carpet bag on ebay. I stressed about the hat for awhile, but then decided it was too hard, and I also forgot to wear my white gloves, but I have a feeling this costume will see the light of day a few more times. Josh bought a hat from ebay and then the coat and broom from Goodwill. I put makeup on his face to look like dirt, and by the end of the night he looked bruised! This year all of the kids knew who I was and everyone had to ask Josh who he was dressed like (which was sweet revenge from last year when kids followed Josh around on the street and everyone thought I was Sleeping Beauty).

Just a handful of candy helps the medicine go down

Josh kept confusing the kids by talking in a cockney accent

"Mary is the only one that I love!"

Thankfully we only got treats, not tricks this year!
(and Josh refused to take down the Obama sign to make room for decorations,
instead he taped it in a more visible place)

Josh's Halloween Rules

This post came about from a conversation I was having with Josh while he carved our Halloween pumpkin and I washed the dishes. He is very serious about the whole Halloween thing and all of these rules are things that I have heard countless times.

1. You're never too old to Trick or Treat. Technically Josh has Trick or Treated every year except for during his mission and that one Halloween where he dressed as Earl. As long as you're wearing a costume, you get candy.

2. A costume is not a costume unless it's a COSTUME! The idea is that Josh takes costuming very seriously. It's not merely just putting on clothes and saying, "I'm somebody else!" Research should be involved. Josh was particularly annoyed when he saw people in college dressed as a "college student." He would like to say to those people, "No, you're a douche bag. It's funny how you could make that costume with things you had just lying around the house."

3. Kids should never be eaten by their costumes. This is a controversial issue, as he realizes safety is a big factor when choosing costumes for kids. However, Josh is always disturbed when he sees kid costumes that are portrayed as a particular character (ie Scooby Doo) when in fact the child's face is completely exposed, usually in the "mouth" of the character. In Josh's opinion, the person becomes not Scooby Doo, but a kid being eaten by Scooby Doo (see below).



4. Beware of the lazy tweens and teens! Just this morning, a couple of tweens rang our doorbell at one pm asking for candy. Josh's first reaction was, "Whoa! It's kind of early to be trick or treating!" The kids replied that they would not be at home tonight and Josh, being the kid (read: gullible) guy that he is, bought their sob story. However, he then noticed that their costumes fell squarely into the oh-so-typical style of "lazy tweenteen." This phenomenon occurs when tweenteens decide they still want candy but want to put in the minimal amount of effort to achieve such. You can recognize this right away by their lack of any actual costume besides a mask or "crazy hat" (see below). They are almost always wearing jeans and look like nothing more than an aspiring bank robber. Note: Josh still recommends giving these kids candy even though their costumes are shameful because they are the most likely to egg your house or TP your tree if you don't comply.


5. Halloween Night Life. Again, Josh realizes that when little kids are involved it is necessary to start trick or treating earlier than one would do with older kids. However, part of the fun of trick or treating is going out in the dark as your friends and classmates make their way to various neighborhood houses to collect their Halloween loot. The question is: How early is too early? In Josh's opinion, anything before 6pm is really pushing it. The prime trick or treating hours are between 7 and the universally recognized ending point of 9pm. Throughout Josh's quarter century career or trick or treating, he has noticed that homeowners' demeanors grow expontentially crankier the closer you get to 9pm. After that, the party is pretty much over. Note: the last fifteen minutes of the 8 o'clock hour can often net the greatest amount of candy, as people often want to get rid of their extra sweets.

Emily, now 100% Caffeine-Free: or How I Stopped Worrying and Learned to Love the Water

I am a caffeinated fiend. I inhale Rockstar and Diet Dr. Pepper like air. It wasn't always like this, but it got worse during spring term of last year when I had three evening classes and not very much energy. The caffeine made it difficult to sleep, which made me tired, which made me drink more caffeine, which made it difficult to sleep, etc. During the past few months I've been drinking at least one Rockstar a day and at most four, which has made me a little nutty. I have stayed up at least one night a week this entire term! I also strongly suspect that all of this soda and energy drink. . . drinking. . . has contributed to my significant weight gain over the past year.

So I have resolved that I will cut out the caffeine from my life and I drank my last Rockstar today. I've been trying to lessen my caffeine intake over the past week, and the results have been splitting headaches and ridiculously increased fatigue. I have diagnosed myself with 292.9 Caffeine-Related Disorder, Not Otherwise Specified (DSM IV-TR) and I am working to overcome my shortcomings.

Here's to making life changes!

Blog Epilogue:
Josh wants me to mention that it will be easy for me to not drink Rockstar because he's the one that does all of the grocery shopping. It's true. When I do the grocery shopping I come back with ice cream and turkey bologna, so we decided that he was the better person for the job because he buys things like vegetables and milk (you know, things that contribute to survival). He was getting a real kick out of buying those huge palettes of Rockstar from Costco, though, because he would tell me each time about how, when he paid for the Rockstar, he would get to explain to the cashier that his wife is in graduate school. I think he's proud of me!

(NOTE: I am proud of her! I love that my wife will one day be "Dr. Alder" and I brag about her all the time. She's the coolest gal I know and I'm a lucky man to be married to her... even if it means I have to make sure we also eat from the *actual* food groups, and not just from the Emily Alder food groups, namely turkey bologna, energy drinks, ice cream, licorice and Taco Bell burritos. -- Josh)

For Mine Own Purpose Have I Made These Things

Moses: SUPERSTAR!

Josh and I went to the coast yesterday. We took some pictures.

I bring you these fifteen. . . **CRASH**. . . Uhh TEN commandments!

With this Beach Branch I will lead a nation!

Where is Moses? I don't know. I don't know.

I will destroy him with my mighty arms!

I tried to coach Josh to look angry, but he just looks like he has heartburn

The coastal wind HATES Pharaoh headdresses

The Beach Patrol stopped me before we trekked across the beach to make sure I dressed warmly

Josh kept snapping pictures when I wasn't ready

Still true!

Unfortunately we cannot explain all of these pictures yet, though we will give Super Awesome Brownie Points to the person who can guess why we would drive three hours round trip to take pictures of ourselves dressed like Moses and the Pharaoh on a day that wasn't even Halloween (and these aren't even our Halloween costumes!) More details will come in a few days.

Simple Math

It's a good thing I am taking statistics right now because when Josh and I were at the coast yesterday I made an important equational discovery:


And then I made a secondary, equally important breakthrough:


Blog Epilogue: Josh wants everyone to know that "awesomeness" cannot be a numerical constant, but rather an abstract objective. This is how he explains that, though I am equal to or greater than awesome, the awesomeness that is created as a combination of us does not mean that he is less than or equal to awesome. I don't argue. The man washes my dishes and feeds me, so he can believe anything he would like about his awesomeness quotient.

ShepAlders of the Corn (and more!)

Josh recently brought this to my attention:

We have this plant that appears to be corn growing in the space between the side of our house and the fence. Apparently, despite the fact that neither Josh nor I have ever been able to keep a plant alive through force (and by "force" I mean "love"), it has been dictated from on high that the ShepAlders should have a victory garden.


A Sneak Peek at Blogs to Come:

Duck-fan-appropriate Halloween decorations


ShepAlders of the Bible!