30 Books Before I'm 30: Blonde

Blonde by Joyce Carol Oates

"Impossible to know the simplest of truths. Except that death is no solution to the riddle of life."

This book is a fictionalized version of Marilyn Monroe's life, but the problem is that Oates did (presumably) a lot of research, so I was a little unclear about which parts were legitimate fiction. But maybe that's the point? That no one can ever truly know the whole of a person, even if that person is wildly famous. I liked that at the end of the book I still didn't know whether Norma Jean/Marilyn was a smart woman who knew how to please people (mostly men, though Oates points out that Miller's parents like her-- a detail that falls into the "I don't know if this is actually true but I wish it was" category) or a dumb woman that was popular because she capitalized on her sexuality. I know I am super clichéd by commenting that it's possible no one knew her, and even that she had no idea who she was or what she had to offer to people. (Yuck. By making that observation, I feel like I'm back in Intro to Literature my freshman year of undergrad).

Before reading this book, I knew practically nothing about Monroe, except that her real name was Norma Jean Baker and that she was married to Joe DiMaggio and Arthur Miller (who was apparently really tall, which surprised me because I always imagined him as a teeny man with coke-bottle glasses) and that she probably slept with JFK. I do, however, know that Oates often writes about women who are victimized or brutalized by men, so I guessed what the tone of this book would be. And it was. The stupid psychologist in me kept imagining what it would be like to have Norma Jean/Marilyn as a client, and I kept thinking of how her outcome made perfect sense if even half of Oates' fictionalized history was true. 

Things I Liked: I think this book is a page-turner. Although it dragged on at times, I was at times amazed to look at the page number and find myself 20 pages from where I started (which is a gigantic difference from The Madness of Mary Lincoln which was nearly 1/7th shorter but took me four times the time to finish). 

I liked that sometimes I liked Norma Jean/Marilyn and felt like she was sympathetic, and at other times I hated her and thought she was a self-centered monster. I always find it to be a sign of a good book when I have an emotional reaction to it (an emotion other than boredom, that is). 

Things I Didn't Like: The book is 738 pages long, and Oates is, I feel, unnecessarily verbose. She uses the same metaphors, similes, and adjective multiple times (though I didn't think to make note of it to use as an example). It made me wonder about Oates' editor and what the novel looked like before it was edited. How much more could there have been?

The book is also sometimes nonlinear and disjointed. Oates incorporates conversations that I wasn't quite sure were real (by "real" I mean, non-fiction in the sense that the people could have had them rather than being dead or nonexistent). She also used odd nicknames for people, such as the first initial of their last name. My guess is that she did it so the reader wouldn't be taken out of the story thinking, "Tony Curtis really hated Marilyn Monroe!" (despite his real-life assertion that he fathered a baby that she then aborted). It was just annoying because I kept having to look things up on Wikipedia. 

This Book Would be Good to Read: Before bed (the chapters are short), though if you don't read much at a time this book will take awhile.

I Would Recommend This Book to: Anyone interested in film or Hollywood during the 1950s (spoiler alert: there was much use of the "casting couch").

If This Book Sounds Interesting, You Might Also Like: The movies Niagara (1953), Gentlemen Prefer Blondes (1953), or The Misfits (1961). The latter was written for Monroe by her then-husband Arthur Miller. The former is a shockingly good performance (for me this means minimal breathy baby voicedness) and is on Netflix streaming right now. If you're not sure you want to put in the time for this book but are intrigued by Oates as a writer, I recommend the short story "Where are you going, where have you been?" 

P.S. I carted my paperback of Blonde with me for six moves and before two weeks ago it was in book-store-returnable condition (the spine wasn't even broken!) but ONE DAY of carting the book around with me at Disneyland (hence the picture) the book got wet on Pirates of the Caribbean and half of it expanded to twice its original size. Despite spending half an hour in the bathroom blow drying it, it took almost a week for it to actually dry off. True story.

Up Next: Jane Eyre by Charlotte Bronte-- another Kindle book. Is it shocking that I don't know anything about the plot? I've never even seen a film version (not even from the BBC)!

The Dirty Dozenth

Josh and I have been applying to Ain't it Cool News' Butt-Numb-a-Thon (BNAT) every year since we've been married (so... to make it easy for you... this will be our fourth year). BNAT is a 24-hour film festival that takes place in Austin, TX. The films are always a mix of vintage and not-yet-released and there are usually a few actors or directors that do Q and As afterward.

Each year we have had to submit themed pictures. Last year's theme was THX 1138 so we submitted pictures of ourselves bald. This year's theme is The Dirty Dozenth BNAT and we had to submit pictures of ourselves doing things that should be punishable by death (not things that actually are punishable by death)-- like pet peeves. Due to The Dirty Dozen theme, wearing fatigues was a bonus.

Here is what we came up with:

Josh as Che Guevara taking DVDs out of their cases and not putting them back

Me as Fidel Castro playing on the power pad without first taking off my shoes

We also had to make a video of ourselves singing the jingle from a Japanese commercial featuring Charles Bronson for a product called Mandom.

It only took one take.



After we finished and it was edited, I realized it might have been a good idea for me to brush my hair or something. I'm always forgetting the details.

We find out in a few days whether we've been accepted. Fingers crossed!

UPDATE: We were accepted for the fourth year in a row!! So cool!!

30 Books Before I'm 30: The Madness of Mary Lincoln

The Madness of Mary Lincoln by James Emerson

"Mary Lincoln was a woman who knew how to hold a grudge, or, as one historian aptly characterized her, she was always a 'good hater.'"

It's possible that I'm the only person on this planet who didn't realize that Mary Lincoln was nuts-o (that's a technical term), but she was declared insane by a jury of her peers following the assassination of her husband and death of her youngest child Tad.* Past biographers have theorized that Mary's oldest child Robert had her committed because she was too much of a burden and he wanted control of her money. There is certainly evidence of that, but Emerson found a series of letters to ML's friend (and the woman credited with getting ML released from Bellevue) Myra Bradwell. These letters are referred to as the "lost insanity letters" because, well, they were lost letters chronicling the years during and following her commitment. 

A few things appear to be true: Mary Lincoln had a lot of trauma in her life. Her mother died unexpectedly when she was seven, one son (Eddie) died in childhood, another son (Willie) died while they lived in the White House, and her last son (Tad) died following a ship ride from England to America-- not to mention the obvious fact that her husband was assassinated while she was sitting right next to him. If I had her as a client, I would be glad she was even getting out of bed in the morning. But it also seems clear that ML displayed Bipolar Disorder symptomology throughout her life. She was a hoarder, compulsive shopper, and easily angered. At one point she was traveling around (because she didn't stay too long in one place) with nearly 70 trunks of clothes she never wore, tons of curtain fabric she never used, and apparently a bunch of footstools (?). She was so angry at Robert, she demanded he return everything she ever gave him, including gifts and things he inherited with the death of his father. 

Things I Liked: The narrative was easy to follow and definitely interesting. After visiting DC last year and being in Ford's Theater and the Peterson house, the Lincoln history feels more real to me than before. Not being a Presidential Scholar, I didn't know anything about anything in the book aside from ML's obsession with spirituality and her sadness following the deaths of nearly her entire family. The research that went into this book appears exhaustive and apparently finding the lost insanity letters was a coup. 

Things I Didn't Like: It took me forever to read, which doesn't make sense because it's only 155 pages (not including appendices). I think it was because the pages are so big and the print is small. It's definitely not a page turner. 

This Book Would Be Good to Read: When you have a lot of time on your hands or if you don't mind reading the same book for awhile.

I Would Recommend this Book to: Someone interested in American history or real-life examples of mental health diagnoses.

I Would Also Recommend: National Geographic's documentary Inside the White House.


4 down, 26 to go!

*As an anecdotal story, Tad Lincoln is credited with starting the tradition of pardoning the Thanksgiving turkeys at the White House. Supposedly he made friends with one of the turkeys and was inconsolably upset at the idea that this turkey would soon be eaten for dinner. To placate him, Lincoln decided to pardon the turkey and the tradition was born. 

At the Ballet

Josh and I went on a date to the ballet last night. I've been subtly suggesting that we go since we moved to the Portland area over three years ago, but he didn't get the hint. So I finally said, "I want to go to the ballet. You need to buy tickets" (it helped that we got a coupon for it in the mail). I love, love, LOVE ballet because it's something so ridiculously difficult, yet beautiful and graceful and looks like it takes no effort at all.

I sat next to a little girl who wore her little opera cloak and whose mom was clearly excited about being there with her because she was telling her about the orchestra and the dancers and what to expect. It was cute. Plus, the girl got a soft pretzel during intermission and I kind of wanted to steal it when she fell asleep during the third act.

I love attending the ballet because it's a different crowd than I see at performances of musicals or music groups. I love the grey hairs, the cloaks, the jewelry, and the little kids that are on their best behaviors. And, of course, I love anywhere that I can wear my pearls and heels. 

I highly recommend Oregon Ballet Theatre's production of "Sleeping Beauty." It runs tonight and tomorrow night as well. 

(In anticipation of the ballet, I got the song "At the Ballet" from A Chorus Line stuck in my head for a week, which just describes my love for ballet so well).

Master of the House

I picked up my diploma today. Josh said I should share the news.

School has been going well lately. I've started my dissertation (and hope it will go better than the thesis) and already have over 30 client contact hours at my practicum site (which means nearly 300 overall). That's okay since I didn't do practicum last year and am not applying for internship this year. 

Brains

In the past couple months, I have become obsessed with the game "Plants vs. Zombies." The premise is that zombies are invading your backyard (and, later, your pool and roof) in order to get in your back door and eat your brains. It is your job to plant zombie-killing plants (like the pea-shooter or watermelon catapult) in order to keep your brains safe. I first started playing this game at my parents' house because it's loaded on my mom's computer for the grandkids. 

I don't exactly know why it's so fun, but it's appropriate for all ages (unless your kid is super afraid of zombies, but my friend's three-year-old boy plays it too and loves it) and it's not so difficult that it's no longer fun once you get to the higher levels. 

This might (definitely) be why I haven't gotten very far on my 30 books before I'm 30 list. You can read more about the game here.

30 Books Before I'm 30: Les Miserables

Les Miserables by Victor Hugo
"azure in the sky does not prevent rags on man"

This book marks my first foray into Kindledom. I absolutely love my kindle because it's lightweight and easy to travel with, but I hate it because I can't read with it in the pool or the bath and it has "location" numbers rather than page numbers, which means that I could only see what percentage I had read rather than how many pages I had left. It's probably not as frustrating with shorter books, but it really drove me crazy with this book (though once I figured out how to make the font smaller it went by faster). Consequently, it took me four months to finish. I didn't even have it read in time for book club. Shameful.

I was simultaneously drawn in and repelled by this book. Drawn in by the characters and their endless moral quandaries, and repelled by the endless philosophizing and expatiation on the part of Hugo. I was told to read the full version rather than the abridged version and I do not recommend it! Read the abridged version! Unless you have a bewildering interest in the history of 1830 French politics, you do not have the need to read the didactic rantings of a man long since dead.

Briefly, this book is the account of a convict, Jean Valjean, who is on an endless route of escape; escape from jail, escape from his police pursuer Javert, escape from his own conscience and God's judgment. Through a series of wacky events, he ends up the primary caregiver for an abused girl (Cosette) who falls in love with a lawyer and revolutionary (Marius). Spoiler alert: Jean Valjean is pretty miserable and a lot of people die.

Things I liked: The characters are wonderfully painted, and I got a real sense of their internal struggles (except for Cosette, who was pretty one-dimensional the entire time; Hugo does not write women well). If I had been reading this book for a class, there were endless things that would have fostered great discussions (e.g. the relationship between morality and forgiveness, the question of whether people can change their true nature juxtaposing Valjean and Thenardier, or, my favorite standy-by, comparing and contrasting the female characters-- especially Cosette vs. Eponine and Fantine vs. Mrs. Thenardier).

I also liked that I was exposed to a whole slew of words I had never seen before (and the Kindle has a built-in dictionary, so all you have to do is move the cursor to the word), such as: inexorable (unyeilding or not to be pursuaded), brigand (a bandit or lightly-armed foot soldier), mousquetaire (musketeer), valetudinarian (invalid or person who believes himself to be chronically sick [hypochondriacal]), assiduity (constant or close application of effort), tergiversation (to change one's attitude repeatedly), and, my favorite, canaille (riff-raff).

Things I didn't like: Aside from my complaints about Hugo's rambling political dogma, I had a hard time with this book because I have seen the musical so many times. I knew that the first 20% of the book really didn't have a ton of importance in the overall plot (aside from setting the moral tone), and I knew that I didn't need to remember the students' names, and I had "Master of the House" stuck in my head for weeks.

Hugo used freakishly long chapter headings, such as "Chapter VIII-- Many Interrogation Points With Regard to a Certain Le Cabuc Whose Name May Not Have Been Le Cabuc."

This quote, about Cosette: "A little girl without a doll is almost as unhappy, and quite as impossible, as a woman without children." Also, "One of woman's magnanimities is to yield." Hm. I have a million responses to that, none of which are Blog Appropriate.

This book would be good to read: while you're also reading other books. It is relatively episodic, which made it easy to pick up and put down, and it's really too long to hold one's attention for too long.

I would recommend this book to: anyone who likes French history, depressing storylines, and hates women. Okay, maybe not the hating women part (and I'm sorry if I've offended my audience of three), but this is definitely not a book for feminists.

I would also recommend: Les Miserables: The Musical! Just don't watch it first, because then the whole story will be ruined and you'll spend your whole time humming "Castle on a Cloud." Though, if you liked the political part of this book, you may also like Stendhal's The Red and the Black.


Coming up next: The Madness of Mary Lincoln. Lunatic or victim of the patriarchy? We'll find out!