Self-Esteem, William James Style

I was doing a bit of homework tonight, and I read something in a chapter about self-esteem that really resonated with me, so I thought I would share it.

As a bit of background, William James was a pioneering psychologist who happened to write a book that I know well, as it was used as a textbook in my Psychology of Religion class in undergrad (The Varieties of Religious Experience) and was venerated by my professor.

"William James, for example, noted that people can stake their self-worth on strikingly distinct qualities, with the result that anyone can achieve high self-esteem as long as they emphasize their strengths and devalue their weaknesses." 
(from Bosson, J.K. & Swann, W.B. [2009] Self-esteem. In M. R. Leary & R. H. Hoyle [Eds.] Handbook of individual differences in social behavior).

I like the idea that anyone can achieve high self-esteem. (That is certainly in practice daily at the ShepAlder household!) It makes me feel hopeful and optimistic for people, my clients, etc. 

The ShepAlder House (Now With More Delightful Shelving!)

Remember when we got our awesome bookshelves that were supposed to be a Christmas present but ended up being a Christmas/birthday hybrid present because I was too lazy to measure our hallway? Well, we (finally) put them together today!

In all fairness, we assembled them into their little box forms as soon as we got them, but then they just hung out in the hallway for two weeks looking like this:

We recycled most of that stuff, by the way, because Josh is awesome (and because I whined), though it didn't all fit in our recycling bin, so some of it is still living on our kitchen floor (in case anyone needs some Styrofoam). 

I have been wanting to get this task done, but we kept putting it off. Finally, today I said it had to be done. It wasn't easy. There may have been some swearing involved (on my part) and some crying (also me), but now it looks like this:

They apparently only give you one shelf per unit, so it looks a little strange right now. We're getting additional shelves in the future. But we finally have something to go in that awkward space in our hallway! Also, we finally have a place for the books that have been gathering around our house in piles! And for the DVDs we're (I'm) too lazy to sort! 

This is what it looks like from the other end:

We're missing a corner piece, which we didn't realize until we had taken everything out of the boxes. They literally shipped this to us on a pallet, wrapped in cellophane, which is now sitting in our garage (in case anyone needs a huge, wooden pallet that FedEx refused to take with them). My mom said that the people at Levenger were really nice to her when she called them about it, so that was positive. 

In reward for helping me today, I'm letting Josh display his Mr. Potato Heads on the top. I think that makes me a pretty good wife. 

Things We Did in Eugene

I got a bit of a break from school, so we went down to Eugene to hang out with my family/sit by the pool. Unfortunately, for the first two days, it was overcast and cold, so we had to find other ways to keep ourselves occupied.

My dad just got an iPad for his birthday, so to christen it for him, Josh set his wallpaper to our awesome beard picture:

It took almost an entire day before he even looked at it and noticed what we had done. This is just one in a list of things we have done to my dad's electronics since he doesn't know how to fix them. My dad's ring tone is still "I Like To Move It, Move It" (from "Madagascar") because Josh set it to that as a joke.

My brother went on a cruise with his friends, but before he left we watched a bunch of movies together. He has three dogs who absolutely love him, and who also love to snuggle. Every time Austin would sit down, his dogs would hop up on his lap:

There are three dogs there-- Jack (my favorite), in the middle is Bella, and Bean 

After Austin left, his dogs were sad and tried to snuggle with Josh instead:

After two days, the sun finally broke through the clouds, so we got to do a lot of this:

Plus, we got to do some swimming, of which I did not get a picture. I'm a little freaked out about going to Hawaii because I have skin that basically hasn't seen the sun since I started grad school three years ago.

On our last night, we got to hang out with our friends. Josh made us play Wits and Wagers. It was lovely to be able to see Laney, who is in the midst of moving from Seattle to Oakland, Maret, who is studying for the Bar Exam, and Logan, who is in Architecture school at UO. We don't get to see any of them nearly enough!

Logan, Maret, Laney, me, and Josh's huge head

We did have kind of a terrifying moment driving back to Beaverton because somewhere before Salem we were stuck behind someone who was driving in both lanes! For more than a mile! Josh drove on the shoulder to get around the person, but we both agreed that we would rather be in front of that person than behind. It is also pretty cool to drive up I-5 on July 4th because people were still setting off fireworks. 

All in all, it was a good trip.

My Favorite View of Summer

Moments later, there was this view, only underwater. 

I love Summer!

ShepAlders and American icons

I was thinking today about our nation and all the very cool places that are iconic to American history. Emily and I have been blessed to visit several of these places since the last Fourth of July on our trips to Washington, D.C., Philadelphia, Boston and New York City. Here are a glimpse at a few of the famous places we've visited since July 4, 2009.

We saw the actual Declaration of Independence
(and resisted the urge to steal such a "national treasure.")
National Archives, Washington D.C.

Monticello,
home of Thomas Jefferson

Charlottesville, Va.

Mount Vernon,
home of George and Martha Washington
Mount Vernon, Va.


The Supreme Court building
Washington, D.C.


The U.S. Capitol
Washington, D.C.


The Washington Monument
(We went up to the top as well!)
Washington, D.C.

Beating the crazy, humid August heat in the shade
(with the Lincoln Memorial in the background)
Washington, D.C.

The Lincoln Memorial
(Em was inside the air-conditioned museum underneath)
Washington, D.C.


The Jefferson Memorial
Washington, D.C.


The White House
Washington, D.C.

The Pentagon
(after one of the coolest tours we've ever experienced)
Arlington, Va.


Independence Hall
Site of the Second Continental Congress,
which approved the Declaration of Independence in July 1776
Philadelphia, Pa.


Inside Independence Hall,
site of the approval of The Declaration of Independence
Philadelphia, Pa.


The Liberty Bell
Philadelphia, Pa.

The Statue of Liberty
Liberty Island, New York, N.Y.


Inside the crown of the Statue of Liberty
Liberty Island, New York, N.Y.



The Old State House
Site of the Boston Massacre
Boston, Mass.


Fanueil Hall
Marketplace and meeting hall founded in 1742
Boston, Mass.




The Old North Church
("One if by land, two if by sea")
Boston, Mass.

We Got Our Awesome Bookshelves Today

Some assembly may be required.

The Yellow Dress

Remember when I purchased this dress from Shabby Apple, and then my friend Jennie (who happens to live in Utah) told me that her neighbor is part owner of Shabby Apple and that my beautiful, sunny, summer dress has a return rate of 75%?

Well... my dress came in the mail the other day, so I wore it to class today. This is what it looks like on me:

Though, admittedly, I buttoned up my sweater all the way by the time I went out in public because I haven't shown off that much awkward cleavage since high school. Also, I think my fashion style is more Repressed Librarian than Flirty Débutante.

There are a few negatives about this dress. For one, it re-introduces me to my old nemesis "uniboob." Also, the waistline is somewhere between empire and.... well... actual waistline. It's not especially flattering. It's completely see-through, so I had to wear a slip, and I spent the whole day wondering whether my slip was showing (it was). It just barely doesn't cover my garmies-- even the especially low-cut mesh ones. And although I absolutely adore yellow and black, I admit that this outfit makes me look a bit like a Mario Bee.

But... I'm going to keep it (and not just because I got sweaty during class). I love, love, LOVE the color. I don't think I could ever be unhappy while wearing such a vividly yellow dress. The fullness of the skirt makes me feel like a Kindergartner and/or 50's housewife and/or Zooey Deschanel in "(500) Days of Summer." Walking back to my car after class, I had to resist the temptation to break out in song. 

However, my search for the Perfect Summer Dress continues.